most horrible thing ever:archive

Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
That Ryan O’Neal is quite the crackerjack actor — that is when he’s not trying to shoot his own son — as this scene from “Tough Guys Don’t Dance” proves. 6 comments

Portfolio of a talented designer, artist and illustrator.

The only Web site brave enough to tell the truth about The Robots.

Blogs and articles brought to you by Cyberdyne Defense Dynamics.

It's the daily news, only way, way, way, way shorter.

Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
Carly Fiorina may be getting headlines for her sheep ad, but she’s got nothing on Dwight McKenna and the chamber of horrors known as the New Orleans morgue. Though, better hope that liver didn’t come from a Mardi Gras attendee. 1 comment


Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
True Companion makes advanced sex robots — life sized with silicone skin that’s warm to the touch and the dead-eyed look of a real hooker — and have taken it to the next level by having them talk. Does it include a super-advanced feature where she tells you about her day? 3 comments


Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
After we pointed out that cats are in league with the Devil, the crazy cat lady on our staff insisted we run something pro-cat. However, as you can see, even the motives of talking cats are not to be trusted. Comment


Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
This reminds us of that Sideshow Bob skit on “The Simpsons” classic “Terror Lake” in which he keeps stepping on rakes over and over and over until it’s long past funny, becomes painful, becomes boring and then finally becomes funny again. 5 comments


Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
This reminds us of that Sideshow Bob skit on “The Simpsons” classic “Terror Lake” in which he keeps stepping on rakes over and over and over until it’s long past funny, becomes painful, becomes boring and then finally becomes funny again. 5 comments


Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
NMA, the Chinese outfit who you may remember from such news reports as “Tiger Woods get’s his ass whomped by his hot wife,” uses animation to explain the NBC late-night show clusterfuck. Be sure to stick around until Conan transforms into Hulk. 2 comments


Reddit  •  Digg •  Stumbleupon •  Facebook •  Twitter
When this script arrived requiring an actress who could be both boorish and dumb, no doubt Rosie O’Donnell was A No. 1, top of the list. Then again, we doubt that, unlike the real Rosie, her character would never ever claim that 9/11 was an inside job. Comment



Waiting for our ship to come in

From the little-known video category of “shipwreck humor” comes this gem featuring a container ship re-enacting the end of “Speed 2.” Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it … Leave a comment


“Pulp Fiction,” the sitcom

It’s a little-known fact that Quentin Tarantino originally wrote “Pulp Fiction” as a network sitcom and shopped it around to networks. Here’s a never-before-seen excerpt from the unaired pilot. Leave a comment


I’ve got a bad feeling about this

Most people don’t know this, but “Star Wars” was originally written by environmentalists. Too bad it didn’t get made though. This movie sounds way better than the prequels. 3 comments


We didn’t need to know that

You see, kids. If you follow this woman’s example, you can end up just like her. And who wouldn’t want that? 3 comments


Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s Windows 95

So, are you totally stoked over Windows 7 or what? If you are — and, really, who isn’t at this point — Microsoft suggests that you have an ethnically diverse launch party, complete with a nonthreatening black guy, a hipster in Elvis Costello glasses, a MILF, balloons and more awkward conversation than a whole month of family reunions. 25 comments


Stop, or my mom will shoot!

What was that you said? You want to see a video of an old woman in a wheelchair shooting a machine gun? Strange you should ask … 1 comment


They should have just let it be

This is why we founded this site: inadvertent masterpieces of kitsch like this. But before you Beatles fan out there — and you know who you are — get all hot and bothered over this “desecration,” remember that if there’s a penny to be made, Paul McCartney himself probably signed off on the deal. 7 comments


Look what the cat dragged in

We’re just going to let you know that this is not a sign that we are turning into some kind of horrible cat video Web site. We just go wherever the video takes us. Besides, there’s something in here for cat lovers and cat haters. We aim to please all. Leave a comment


F’in Sesame Street

A bit of unnecessary censorship for “Sesame Street,” though the real news here is that Jimmy Kimmel did something funny … wait, he’s still on TV? Leave a comment


BBC discovers the power of punctuation

It’s great that someone who has been through such a terrible ordeal is still able to find work as a news anchor. 1 comment


Comedy = tragedy + primetime

Did you ever wonder what a sitcom episode directed by David Fincher might be like? OK, neither did we, but this will provide the answer nonetheless. I think we may have seen an episode of “According to Jim” with this exact same plot. 14 comments


Thinking outside the bun

Pity the poor burger joint whose originality only extends to stacking more beef patties on on a bun. It takes big brass balls — and apparently KFC has them — to cut out the bread entirely, damn the consequences. Who’s gonna miss a crumbly bun made out of triple-bleached gypsum dust and wood pulp anyway. It’s only there to keep the special sauce off your fingers. Leave a comment


Good thing this didn’t end up on YouTube

We can’t imagine what a complete disaster this would be for the Congressman if these comments somehow would have been videotaped and ended up on the Internet. Why, he might come across as a lecturing prick with a short fuse. Not to mention the whole thing being really ironic. Good thing he banned cameras. Leave a comment


Timmy the narcoleptic bowler

If you were to watch a movie featuring bowling, we’d suggest “The Big Lebowski.” But, that isn’t available, watch this. Given the title, don’t be surprised by what happens. P.S. He’s still a better bowler than we are. Leave a comment


Wolf in sheepish clothing

Since this week is the fourth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, we thought we’d celebrate with one of our all-time favorite clips, featuring Wolf Blitzer, ready to bear the white man’s burden. Fortunately, he’s racially enlightened, otherwise he’d be in a lot of trouble for sounding an awful lot like a racist. Leave a comment

THE FINE PRINT | This Web site is the personal site of David Putney. It is not in any way affiliated with Pilot Media Companies, The Virginian-Pilot
or Opinions expressed here are those of David Putney or commenters. © 2008-2013 David M. Putney